Men and women often misinterpret what is being communicated based upon their gender.Here are some of the things we've learned about each other from studying gender differences:LORIBefore, I thought: He doesn't want to listen to me; He just keeps telling me what to do; He doesn’t care.Now I think: Solving my problem is his way of trying to help; If I want him to just listen, I have to give him a job description before I speak.Before, I thought: He doesn't want to share anything he and Fred talked about at breakfast...he doesn't want to connect with me.Now I think: He doesn't remember what he and Fred talked about because he doesn't care.Before, I thought: He's been awfully quiet and withdrawn...he doesn't want to be with me.Now I think: He's in his cave, he doesn't want to talk - I can go shopping with my girlfriends, guilt-free.BOBBefore, I thought: She's being awfully quiet; No talking, how nice - everything must be okay.Now I think: She's not talking, what did I do? Why is she mad at me?Before, I thought: Why is she annoying me with all these questions about breakfast with Fred?Now I think: I will try to remember a few details about Fred's life, so she doesn't feel she's getting crumbs.Before, I thought: When I asked what was wrong and she said "nothing," she meant it.Now I think: That "nothing" means, "if you really love me, you will ask again until I tell you."We would love to hear your thoughts about how gender affects your communication on our Facebook page.Here's to your relationship,Lori and Bob Hollander
Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center that gives couples 360 degrees of support for extraordinary partnerships. Sign up for Radical Relationships, a monthly eZine from Relationships Work, and receive Why Take the Journey to Extraordinary? absolutely free.