1.

How do we understand what happened to the “Atlanta Runaway Bride” and what is the “Runaway Bride Syndrome” (“RBS”)?

2.

It is really merely a variant of the well known “fight or flight” syndrome -- an overwhelming “fear” response to what appears to be a life or death situation.

3.

This phenomenon is a neurological, biochemical and physiological condition that represents the human survival response that has evolved over the years.

Sometimes in today’s world, such a response so crucial for past survival, can prove so wrong!

5.

In the case of the Atlanta Runaway Bride, the syndrome likely was triggered by 600 guests and expectations that the bride found impossible to fulfill, resulting in an uncontrollable panic, proving unmanageable and explosive.

6.

Such emotions overwhelm the rationale mind, canceling out rational thought and rational action.

7.

Imagine you are a long time sufferer of claustrophobia, the fear of being trapped and confined within a very small space, such as the space one encounters when experiencing an MRI test. You are but inches from an opening above your head. And, in reality, you would only have to simply press a button to get out immediately. Yet, despite this knowledge, overwhelming panic and fear set in, and you MUST get out, NOW!!!

8.

The circumstances vary for everyone, but the response is the same. We are hijacked by an intolerable sense of helplessness and hopelessness – of being trapped in circumstances that one finds intolerable, even for a moment.

9.

When this happens, your primitive brain takes over. Your logic shuts down, judgment disappears and your “thinking” becomes of a lower order, ruled by your new master – your fear.

10.

In RBS, there is the extreme panic that there is no trusted one to run to – only a circumstance to run from.

11.

RBS is usually founded upon a lack of trust and poor communication within your significant relationships, both in the present and in the past, probably exacerbated by a preexisting anxiety or depressive disorder.

12.

Men also suffer from something similar to Runaway Bride Syndrome, which can be referred to as Runaway Groom Syndrome, but its expression and form is much more covert, since men pride themselves in being in control of and the master of their feelings. Most men are also hypervigilant regarding “closeness,” and they possess an early warning system which is activated quickly to enable them to withdraw from a relationship much quicker then women.

13.

The inevitable result is that for most men, it would never have gotten this far.

14.

Women are also more vulnerable to this syndrome since they feel more anxiety about their social responsibilities to others.

15.

A woman’s nature is to please others and to put others’ feelings first. As a result, many women do not speak up about their own feelings and needs. The unintended consequence is that she allows the feelings to build. When they no longer can be contained they are expressed in what appears to be an irrational way –running away. She may end up doing the very thing that she was trying to avoid --hurting the people she was trying to protect.

17.

Ask yourself, “Have I ever acted in such a way that I’d like to take back? Well then, you are then able to relate to RBS.

18.

We must all practice being responsible in our lives.

19.

We need to recognize quickly the enormous forces that arise without warning, so that we have a real say in our actions. If not, these powerful emotions will make the choices in our life – they become our masters!

20.

The antidote is increased awareness. To have the courage to look within our hearts, to make such emotions known to ourselves, so that we may plan for them and so that they do not become destructive in emotionally charged situations.

21.

So, let us not label our Runaway Bride, or create an over-simplified, one-dimensional characterization of her, but rather try to understand her particular story, and to learn the lesson that our own emotions may prove to be just as strong, bewildering and destructive as those of our Runaway Bride. We need to be on the look out for them!

22.

It is not only the compassionate thing to do, but, for ourselves, it is the wise thing to do.