Did you resolve this New Years to take your relationship to the next level? (If you didn't, it's not too late.)
As we mentioned last week, our January Relationship Recharges will focus on the four critical areas needed to achieve extraordinary: Emotional Intimacy, Money Matters, Authentic Communication and Erotic Connection.
Part IV: Erotic Intimacy Forever
Erotic intimacy in a committed relationship is a crucial part of the mind, heart, body connection; and yet difficult to achieve. Conflict about sex is the second biggest reason couples separate.
- Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., LPC - author, "Getting the Sex You Want"
Attending to the erotic connection in your relationship happens when you know, love and support your partner's needs, wants and desires sexually. Emotional and sexual intimacy go hand in hand to create a deeply intimate relationship.
Knowing
How well do you know each other sexually? Would you be able to describe your partner's wants, desires, fantasies? Are you aware of how satisfied your partner is with your erotic connection? How safe is it to authentically communicate what you love or don't love about your sexual relationship?Loving
Do you talk about your sexual relationship? How deeply do you understand your partner's feelings about sex and where those feelings come from? Do you validate and respect each other's needs, desires and wants? How well do you work together to create a satisfying erotic connection for both of you?
Supporting
Do you support your partner by working to understand and resolve your sexual differences? Are you aware of your partner's sexual history and how that has affected him/her?
With consciousness, communication and caring, erotic intimacy in a committed relationship can last forever.
We recommend the following books to help deepen you and your partner's sexual connection:
Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style: Sharing Desire, Pleasure, and Satisfaction by Barry and Emily McCarthy
The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion by Gina Ogden
Getting the Sex You Want by Tammy Nelson
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire by Michele Weiner Davis
Some of our couples read a chapter at a time to each other - a great way to spend quality time together and connect what you are learning to your own relationship.