Did you resolve this New Years to take your relationship to the next level? (If you didn't, it's not too late.)
As we mentioned last week, our January Relationship Recharges will focus on the four critical areas needed to achieve extraordinary: Emotional Intimacy, Money Matters, Authentic Communication and Erotic Connection.
Part III: Authentic Communication
Communicating authentically is vital to creating and maintaining a deeply loving connection. Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the great communicators of our time said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
Knowing, Loving and Supporting your partner is achieved by genuinely expressing your thoughts and feelings and actively listening to his or hers. This sets the stage to embrace any conflict that may arise with confidence and trust.
Knowing
Are the two of you committed to the practice of communicating on a regular basis in good times and bad? Have you created a safe environment for authentic communication and a deep "knowing" of each other?
Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us."
-Sara Paddison
Loving
Are authentic, honest feelings expressed directly and received without judgment? Do you work together to gain an understanding of each other's perceptions? When you disagree do you validate and accept each other's viewpoints?
to put yourself in the other person's place
and to see things from his point of view - as well as your own."
-Henry Ford
Supporting
Do you support each other by speaking clearly, listening patiently, hearing the feelings behind the words, asking for clarification? Do you focus on understanding before you respond?
Authentic communication from the heart - real, honest, sincere, is the only path to a truly intimacy relationship.
To support you in communicating authentically, we have a few recommendations:
A Couple's Guide to Communication by John Gottman
And if you like our personal take on Communicating Authentically about Money, try:
4 Weeks to a Financially Blissful Relationship eCourse by Lori and Bob Hollander
Some of our couples read a chapter at a time to each other - a great way to spend quality time together and connect what you are learning to your own relationship.