June 24, 2009: Keeping the Fires HOT - How To Create Eroticism in Long-Term Relationships
The dictionary defines erotic as “designed to arouse feelings of sexual desire.” Eroticism peaks when there is some separation or mystery between two people. This is very difficult to achieve when you know everything about each other – not to mention, raise kids, do laundry and pay bills together. Familiarity just isn’t sexy.
So how do couples go from being “too familiar” to creating eroticism in the bedroom?
The first step is to leave the bedroom and head to the kitchen for an in-depth, erotic conversation.
What turns you on? What turns you off? What turns you on about each other? What are your fantasies? What have you been too nervous to share? What is your vision of a fulfilling erotic life?
While communicating may seem counterintuitive to creating mystery and separation, your goal here is to discover new things about your partner – to be surprised. It’s not an easy conversation, so do what you need to do to make each other feel safe and not judged. Most importantly, take a chance and commit to trying some of things you discuss when you’re back in the bedroom (or whatever room your partner has always wanted to try!).