April 21, 2010: Relationship Highway - Under Construction: Commit at Your Own Risk
"Relationship Highway," the road to commitment is anything but a smooth ride. You may slam on the brakes if he/she has a habit of a "few too many" drinks; or you find out he/she is dating someone else in your "exclusive" partnership. Other warning signs or "deal breakers" may appear along the road and indicate you should take the next exit.
But what if the ride is pretty smooth? And then one day, for no apparent reason, you start to panic. You feel lost and don't know where you are or which way to go. As your relationship moves toward commitment, you see yellow lights flashing; you know this may be the last time you travel Relationship Highway. There is a roadblock ahead; the sign comes into view, "Fear of Commitment - Exit here or Drive at your own risk."
"Commitment phobia" is not just for men. The U.S. Census Bureau reports single women are the fastest-growing segment of the American population, with more than 47 million, 22 million of whom are between 25 and 44. What is it that is just so scary about the commitment road? Choosing to marry, love and live with one person for the rest of your life is a daunting promise.
Marriage and/or commitment means giving up...
Here is where the relationship may get a flat tire or break down altogether. To avoid this, it is vital to embrace your fear and talk with your partner. Share your thoughts and feelings. Most of us fear the unknown, getting hurt, being vulnerable, trusting and being intimate. When two people share their fears, it brings them closer.
"When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship."
-Barbara De Angelis
Share your stories and thoughts about commitment with us on our Facebook page.
But what if the ride is pretty smooth? And then one day, for no apparent reason, you start to panic. You feel lost and don't know where you are or which way to go. As your relationship moves toward commitment, you see yellow lights flashing; you know this may be the last time you travel Relationship Highway. There is a roadblock ahead; the sign comes into view, "Fear of Commitment - Exit here or Drive at your own risk."
"Commitment phobia" is not just for men. The U.S. Census Bureau reports single women are the fastest-growing segment of the American population, with more than 47 million, 22 million of whom are between 25 and 44. What is it that is just so scary about the commitment road? Choosing to marry, love and live with one person for the rest of your life is a daunting promise.
Marriage and/or commitment means giving up...
- Single life
- Dating
- Freedom
- Sex with others (forever)
- The chance to find someone better
- Being solely independent
- Lifestyle and decisions that are all about you
Here is where the relationship may get a flat tire or break down altogether. To avoid this, it is vital to embrace your fear and talk with your partner. Share your thoughts and feelings. Most of us fear the unknown, getting hurt, being vulnerable, trusting and being intimate. When two people share their fears, it brings them closer.
"When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship."
-Barbara De Angelis
Share your stories and thoughts about commitment with us on our Facebook page.